My cat's sitting right next to me. Just a little bored here. 

 

I'm not even sure if I'm as in love with him as I was before. I haven't seen him since school got out. He goes on IM, but he doesn't talk to me. He'll go outside for two seconds, always when I'm not outside. I'm not going to see him for a year! This stupid age difference (even if only by a year) gets in the way.

 

Why can't I just skip this year? The only point of it is to prepare you for the next year! I'm perfectly prepared.

 

I feel so alone. All I do everyday is read and go on the computer. Sometimes go outside, but only when it's warm. It hasn't been warm or sunny for 3 days. I'm sick of it.

 

I'm redoing my room, trying to find a space where everything around me fits my personality. It's going to be hard, considering the fact that I have to find something not depressing that will suck the fun out of my happy days, but not too happy that makes me more depressed because I'd feel so out of place. I'm thinking blue, with striped polka dots. Blue, green, and dark purple.

The only thing that would be missing in my room would be a bigger bed.

 

Every time Katie has a guy friend over I picture him sitting on my bed, talking with me. Or us sitting on the floor, listening to music. 

 

But I never see him, and I don't think he'd want to see me. Because I'm not going to see him, he'll move on. He'll get girlfriends, I'll stay single. Alone, and single. Without even a hope to see him, because when would I anyway?