I'm going tubing with Emily, Morgan, and Maddy today at 12:00. It's partly cloudy and 78 degrees where I am but it might be different there. I hope it's warmer there!!!!! I hardly ever go tubing. I usually only get to at my Grammy's lake house with my cousins.

I'm ssssooooooooooo bored!!!!!! Jeez, you'd think I'd be able to find SOMETHING to do! i can't even EAT! I DON'T HAVE ANY FOOD!!!!! Ugh, I better be going to Emily's soon...

Ahhh... I got to talk to him yesterday. I was playing with his little sister for a while until she wanted to play a game. I cleverly said, "well, I would but it's hard to play a game without more people..." then she said, "well, I could go and ask my brother and his friend if they'd like to play?" Of corse I said sure! So she said she'd call me when they wanted to play with us. So I went home for awhile. After maybe 20 minutes the doorbell rang! It was him and his friend!!!

"I can't." I said.

"Well, then why did my sister tell us to come over here?"

I explained to him about what happened.

"Well, are you sure you can't play a game? Maybe we could just play something inside?"

"Ha, I wish. You know my parents..."

"Yeah..."

There was a silence for awhile...

"Well, bye then!"

"Bye!"

HEE HEE! It really wasn't a big deal but... he smiled at me! He's so cute!!! I love him so much!!!

It's 10:37 right now. It's Friday. I used to look forward to Fridays when school was going but now it's just another day. If you get to much of something, it's not special anymore. So that sucks.

I'm feeling quite mellow today. Maybe because it's thunder storming out. I love thunder storms! I love waking up to thunder storms the most though. I don't know why. Most people hate lightning and thunder. I guess they don't have good memories with them. Not that I do. Hence, I don't know why I like them.

I have 3 new emails. One from facebook, one forward message from one of my mom's friends (how did they get my email?), and one from The Universe. My emails from the Universe are pretty random. This site sends you self esteem tips every week, or every day, or something. I don't read them anymore.

Ugh, I'm sick of summer! I'm sick of staying home all this time and not doing anything! My family and I are going to Colorado on August 5 until August 10. It's going to be an RV trip! I like to go on RV trips because it's SO much better then being stuck in a car with your family for 14 hours. Madie always takes the chair, Katie the couch (of course, the biggest part of the RV), and I take the overhead bed thingy. The overhead thing is on top of where the driver and passenger seats are. It looks like a big lump on top of the RV from the outside. The smallest part, of course.

Anyway, I can't wait to leave! We haven't gone anywhere all summer because Katie "has stuff going on all the time!" I mean really, missing one day of socializing?!?! It's unimaginable! But finally, after 2 months of not doing ANYTHING my parents finally planned a trip, without asking Katie about it.

But, after the RV was booked, Katie was back in the know. There was a vote about where we went, Washington D.C. or Colorado. I voted Washington D.C., Madie voted "strawberry", Katie voted "no where. Mom, I CAN'T miss tennis! Plus, I have things to do here." Since when did Katie get a life? In the end, somehow we decided on Colorado. No votes for Colorado, and that's where we're going. Really the only reason Colorado is where we're going is because Mom has friends there so when we have to camp one night mom doesn't want to be there.

I'm sorry, but every time we go somewhere at least one of mom's friends are also there. We went to Colorado last christmas break, mom went out with my "Uncle" Stephen. The next day we (Madie, Katie, Dad and I) went skiing. Stephen decided to come with us. Mom wasn't so happy but instead she went to see one of her other friends that day because she "has bad knees". Uh huh. So this time it will be the same I'm guessing.

I went to the pool today with Bee and Rachel. It was really fun! I was SO relieved to find that they also liked just laying out by the pool and getting tan... :)

Right then, when I was tanning with my friends, I felt truly content. I hate to say it but I think we have a better time when Morgan isn't there... Not gonna lie. We talked about a lot of things. We laughed when random people would splash us. People we didn't even know! I hugged some random kid saying I was awesome. I felt like I had a life! I really want to have a sleepover with just Morgan... see how it is... then have a sleepover with just Bee and Rachel. Then Morgan won't feel left out because she had a one-on-one thing with me too.

So yeah... A good day, I'll have a good week.

1-2-3 BOM Milestones!!!

I'm so excited to go to Colorado August 5th! We're taking a RV that hopefully fits all five of us! I really just want to go because I'm sick of being home. I love Colorado! It's like one of my many homes!

My "homes" are, Florida, Colorado, Red Wing, Grammy's (my grandma on my dad's side) lake house, and Lake City, of corse.

I call them my "homes" because there where I feel... at... home? Haha! Wow, I'm little off today!

I don't know why I'm acting so happy. If you saw me right now you'd probably be asking me if I was OK and offering me hot tea or something. I look depressed. Depressed on TOP of depressed. I have that happy/sad feeling right now. Kind of in the middle, like if red and blue were feelings, I'd be purple... yeah... you KNOW you get it!! Think about it...

Anyway, I'll try to dumb it down for ALL of us. I'm feeling sad. But so sad, I've given up all hope on being happy and just cracked and became happy unintentionally... that's not as dumbed down as I wanted it to be.

*Big sigh* I guess I'll just swing, then watch a movie, then sleep. It's really nice out. It makes me want to stay inside.

I'm sick of summer. How can I already want school to start again? It's only July!

I found a shirt. Unfortunately it's too small and is choking me. Not to mention it's pink. Jeez, I need to go shopping! But since I don't have a job I don't get anything because, "If you want something you have to pay for it with your own money! Madie can buy this because she has a job. When you have a job you can buy your own stuff!" Again, I don't have a job. And I won't have a job for 3-4 years!

But, it's my mom's rule. So, until I have a job I'm going to have to save up with my Christmas and birthday money. My birthday's September 28 so I'll have money soon. Still. That's in TWO MONTHS! My clothes aren't getting any bigger!

I've run out of shirts.

I always want something. Why can't you ever be truly content, peaceful? Why is something always bothering me? When one moment I think I'm fully happy, one word can ruin everything. I wish the world would... I don't wish anything. Be careful what you wish for, right?

I'm so used to always being after something, something I know I can't have. What ever happened to being happy for what you have and not over doing it? Why isn't life easier, for all of us? It's a challenge alright. I've never been on vacation. I always had to be doing something, getting something done, or thinking about some stressful subject I know will never be concluded.

But I'm not like this when I'm with you. I'm calm, I could stand with you for hours and never think of anything but you. The feeling never gets old. I never wish I was alone when I could be with you. It's new, it's safe. It's the only time I know nothing can go wrong, yet so afraid it will. But nothing lasts forever, and soon we're pulled away, to go back to our lives for another month. The longest days are the ones you're not in.

I love you.

this stupid thing isn't working!!!!!!