I actually had a pretty good day today. Except for the bad news I received after phy ed. today, except the fact that I ran the mile in 10 minutes and 13 seconds, Ms. Marin died this morning. Ms. Marin was the spanish teacher until she got cancer all over her body. The saddest part is though, that last year she thought it was gone, so her and her husband tried to have a baby. When they both went into the doctor to read the pregnancy test, the doctor found that the cancer had come back. Ever since then she's been suffering at her house. All this last summer she's been wanting to die. Yeah, I know pretty horrible.

So this morning my teacher announced that she died this morning. Yeah. So that provoked some depressing thoughts into my mind about death. It was grand. I'm totally not depressed now.

Anyway, otherwise my day was pretty good. I actually felt like I had friends! I KNOW IT'S AMAZING! So now I'm not as mad at the world as I was yesterday I guess. OH and a good thing is that (I think yesterday) Madi and Emma Gnote, decorated my locker. Late, yes, but they still did it! Emma and I have to share a locker. We call it the Emma locker. It's just like third grade all over again.

Right now I'm sitting in my really random "pajamas" that are more like something a person with no clothes but leggings, a sweater, t-shirt, and shorts would wear. That person would be me, of corse.

My music supply is pretty awesome though right now. Not gonna lie I'm seriously loving it. It consists of Ingrid Michaelson, A Fine Frenzy, Glee, The Fray, Priscilla Ahn, and some other people. If you don't know about these people, seriously look it up. They're all amazing.

Just sayn'.

My birthday's tomorrow. The only reason that last comment didn't end with 10 exclamation points is because birthdays never turn out right for me. Sure, I get the presents and the cake and everyone in my family remembers it, but I almost ALWAYS end up crying. Either because of something stupid like Katie won't let me eat the first piece of cake, or because even though it's my birthday no one treats me any different. Maybe this year will be different, I don't exactly know yet, but I can just see it happening.

Since I'm the littlest and no one but Madie really knows who the heck I REALLY am, events like birthdays don't go well. Homecoming was Friday and no one payed any attention to me. I was in the little social circle, I talked when people talked to me, I even started conversations at some points, but no one cared. Now my birthday's coming up and I don't even think anyone will write on my facebook wall. Oh wait... one person, Alexa, wrote on my wall. "Happy Birthday Emmy!"... yay. My name's not "Emmy" and I'm pretty sure she hates me! Not even my best friends have written on my wall yet.

So that's pretty much the story of my life right there. I know I've said that a million times but hey, I have a pretty dang long life.

Other then that tidbit nothing but bad things have really been happening in the last month. Natalie (she's on youtube, www.youtube.com/communitychannel if you want to watch her videos) hasn't made a video in 2 months so I barely laugh anymore, my friends ignore me or complain about me, I've been realizing that no one likes me, I had another bad sleepover with Morgan on Friday, I slept bad last night because I was at my grandma's house, and the icing on the cake is that I've been noticing that even my best friends probably don't even like me.

Don't ask me why my best friends hate me, I don't have a clue. Ever since this year started my friends have been acting like they're so cool. I guess they've finally noticed that I'm about the most "uncool" person in school. Aeropostale is the only thing they wear and one of the few things I don't so, I'm out. And it's not only my best friends, it's the entire school apparently. Except select people who are nuts and actually talk to me. Those people are at the bottom of the social "cool" ladder along with me. Sadly, all those people are really mean and don't even know my name. "Hey, um... yeah, can you pass me the *insert object name here*?" Is pretty much as interesting as our conversations get.

OK, maybe people don't hate me but they certainly don't like me. But I don't take too much offense to it because people around here have barely stepped outside their front door let alone out of the state of Minnesota. Ugh, it's just annoying a guess.

Also I bought a really awesome fall coat not that long ago but guess what? I can't wear it to school because a little person called Madi Dwel will buy it if she sees it. Just like she did with my shirt, my winter jacket, my shoes, my backpack, my purse, my airstream trailer, oh yeah, and my FRIENDS. And with all those things she bought because I did, guess who gets complimented on all of them? HER. HER HER HER HER HER because she's pretty, smart, and for some reason SHE'S the one who gets the credit for looking cute at school with MY clothes. I wear them and this is the world's reaction, "Oh hey... Emma... nice shirt... anyway so I was like--" and then Madi comes along with the same outfit, "OH MY GOD MADI WHERE'D YOU GET THAT SHIRT, COAT, JACKET, PURSE, AND SHOES??? I LOVE THEM!!!" and she smiles and blushes and gets a boyfriend the next day. My. Life. Sucks.

You know what's worse then a clock that says the wrong time? Blinking clocks. Why don't they just turn off or on? Who thought of making it blink so it gets your attention? Well, it works! You've succeeded, I've gone insane. I know what you're thinking, "Oh really Emma? Did you just go insane?" and this time I have to admit that you're right. Yes, I'm far past insane, so far past that I'm standing on the horizon. (Yes, I know it's impossible to know when you're there. But that's kinda the point.)

Anyway, it's my dad's birthday today. He's 51, but don't tell him that. He's not celebrating it at all. He doesn't want anything for a present, he doesn't want a cake, he doesn't even want to open presents or anything! I think he's in denial. Just to prove he's still young he's going to go water skiing this weekend. Don't say I didn't tell him not to. I did. 75 times.

Birthdays aren't a big deal though. "I think they are honey! It's a celebration of life! I believe we should-" and I zone out. Yeah yeah, celebration of life, yadda yadda be happy about your age, blah blah blah, that's what it's all about isn't it? Yeah, sure mom. Whatever you say.

It's not that I don't agree! But I just don't need to be told.

AnyWHO, dance is starting Tuesday and I cannot wait! I miss dance SO much! I feel bad, though, because I stretched a lot last year and I haven't in awhile... so... that sucks... you know what I'm getting at.

Well, I'm just gonna... go.