Interesting subject interesting subject interesting interesting Basically what we gonna do is dance.

Testing out the new blog layout. I decided to just go simple.

Ok, so I ran out of creative ideas.

But whatever. I'm in a better mood then in my last post! Which is funny because I posted my last post about 15 minutes ago. I had an orange. It made my day.

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

I'm just in a really good mood. :)

>:(

Yesterday I noticed that the man on the moon is sad.

"Mom, why's the man on the moon sad?" I said. We were at a resteraunt right next to a huge window. The moon was out early, it was still light out, but you could see his face perfectly.

"What?" She looked. "I don't know. That's kinda depressing..." Mom said.

"Maybe the stars are his tears."

"Why would he be crying? You have such a beautiful mind, Emma." My mom can never just let me speak.

So not that that isn't the most happy thing you've ever heard in your life, but here's something better.

This week has SUCKED. Just, everything stunk! Madie and I had a nice talk last night. I feel like I haven't talked to her in ages. (Hey madie, go on a walk with me today?)

So of course you can guess that my friends took up 99.9% of the suckish factor. I want to get away from them. And everyone. But I don't want to be alone. There's no one to choose from in this stupid town. "Just think that you'll be out of here someday and then you'll actually find people like you." yeah, but I don't think it's fair that I'm the only person without people like me. Why do I have to wait so long, and MOVE, to be happy? Why can't I be happy here?

I don't want to leave my school, don't worry, but sometimes I just wish I could be someone else for a day. I know, I know, I'm answering my own questions. "Then you'd find that you're not the only one..." blah blah blah. But still. I deserve a little change.

I feel like all I ever do is tell my computer screen my feelings. Computer, I'm sorry I dump all the things you don't care about into your keyboard and force you to jam it into your memory.

AnyWHO, basically the whole world is mad at me right now. Emily A. (my back up plan when my friends leave me... oh god. Maybe that's why she's mad at me. I feel like a horrible person! :( -) is mad at me because I was mad at my friends, then I wasn't, now I am, and she doesn't know why i bounce back so quickly. But Emily always acts like she wants me to not be friends with anyone but her.

Also Emily S. called me mean to my face. That was nice. So that doesn't make me want to be mean to her AT ALL. But I resisted. Then Nathan H. (new kid who no one likes. sadly.) said to emma g. "Are you nice emma or mean emma?" Emma asked who was who and he said, "Mean emma wears black boots." Guess who wears black boots? Didn't take you long there.

So my week was really sucky. It feels good just to say it was sucky. SUCKY SUCKY SUCKY WEEK!! Ah, that's better.

Sometimes I just have to write.

Ok i REALLY don't know how I remember all these passwords.

I have a MCHSI.COM email, a GOOGLE email, a MSN email (i think...), a youtube account, a blog (hello there!), a facebook, and I'm pretty dang sure I have a garfield.com account from fourth grade... don't tell anyone.

I have a different password for EACH ONE. It's insane. I barely remembered the password for this very blog. (don don don.) What would all my ONE reader(s) do?

So yes, here I am again. With my throat completely destroyed you're all I have to talk to that won't ask me to repeat every two seconds. Thanks.

So I'm in a grand mood because guess what? Single Awareness Day is coming up! I think tomorrow! Basically it's the day where all those perfect hot couples get all lovey dovey (I know, it kills me too when people say that. I had to.) and rub it in. EVERYWHERE. There's always the early bloomers too. I walked in to school yesterday and all the dumb couples such as, "Tractor+Popular Chick=GROSSEST THING IN THE WORLD" couple #1 walked right by me holding hands. I know? What the heck? God, they just HAD to be happy in front of me! How rude, right?

Anyway, even though I'm feeling the worst pain in my throat I've ever felt in the history of my life, along with you know, friends, S.A.D. (oh my god! Single Awareness Day's initials are SAD! How wonderful.) and you know, the occasional gross asking out by RYVER (Not even I am that desperate to get a boyfriend), my life's pretty good!

I found a new song, Hero of the Story by Regina Spektor, that pretty much sums up my entire life. Which is, "A girl who is independent because of, you know, life, who is just cool like that." Haha no, it's actually really good. (Ugh, yes, it's true, I really need to work on my over Independencey...)

Better go chug down some more Halls Cherry Cough Drops!

Wish me luck.

Crumbling

I don't want to come home to this

Standing here, all alone in the mist

School alone left me doubting the people who "got my back"

Now my entire life is off track

Did you ever stop to think "does she need this?"

Do you ever even stop to care?

I know I'm probably the last thing on your mind

But please

Will you ever stop and ask if I'm there?

I waist all my time worrying about you

It never goes the way that you plan

But I don't understand

Why everything has to be so unfair

I don't want to have to stand here

While you forget about the way I might feel

I'm sick of hearing you scream all the time

I don't want to have to try not to cry

It wasn't my plan to have to stop and stand

Holding my ground as it falls

Crumbling down

This poem describes my day today. Sucky.

So I went to school, dressed in an awesome outfit, completely confident. Lunch today:

"Emma remember when you brought that picture to school of what you wanted to get your hair cut like?" Morgan said.

I didn't know where this was going, "Yeah...?"

"And we were like, 'So you want to get your nose pierced too? And your hair turned back?' She was totally emo." Morgan said. I started to get mad.

"Yeah the 'Emo haircut'." Rachel said. Going along with it. No sound in her voice told me she didn't agree.

"Her hair was brown. And-" I tried to defend myself. (and sort of failed)

"Yeah and her nose pierced! Probably her belly-button too." Morgan contributed.

"My cousin has her nose, AND belly-button pierced. She isn't goth or emo." I said, half lying about the nose piercing.

"Wow." Rachel said. Not letting down her ground, but more thinking it was a lame point.

"Yeah, and Emma went through an Emo phase too." Morgan said as if I wasn't right in front of her.

"You know what? If you're not going to be nice, then I'm leaving because I'm not going to take it." I said, not loud enough, but enough for a short silence to overcome the table. (Maddy P., Ayaho, Morgan M., Grace D, and Victoria were also at this table, talking quieter then Morgan and Rachel. Bee was/is sick.)

I left. Morgan M. followed. "UGH!" I said to Morgan M.

"God, Morgan was being really mean. She's still going on about it."

"I KNOW! What the heck?"

Morgan ranted about Morgan D. for awhile about how she's "not even good in Basketball! Since her dad's the coach her team ALWAYS gets the ball first in skrimage. She told the team that we were bad!" I just nodded, glad Morgan would listen, but mostly that she understood.

"What's up?" Emily came up next to us in the hallway (which we were standing in for way too long).

"Did you hear Morgan?" I said. I regretted my words, Emily's not known for keeping her mouth shut, but I needed to talk to people. And hey, they were willing.

"No. Why?" I gave her the 'what-do-you-think?' look. She nodded her head.

"Morgan doesn't know when to stop!" Morgan M. said. I sighed, happy that some people are on my side.

So now I'm evilly hopeful that more and more people will see that Morgan's not the perfect little princess everyone thinks she is, like I've known for a LONG time.

But the big point is that Rachel, my 'best friend' who I thought would stand up for me, didn't. The person who's been the nicest this whole week, failed me. Like everybody else.

I keep thinking though, Bee would've stood up for me. She just wasn't there to. But honestly, no one who knows Morgan enough goes against her.

FPS (Future Problem Solvers) regionals are on Saturday, I leave Friday after school to a hotel to meet with most of my team and swim. I'll tell you if we get first.

Did I mention my parents are in a fight... again?

I really don't have time.

Another fight. Problem: Politics. Famous lines: "You're mad at me!" "No, YOU'RE mad at ME!" "I don't know how I'm the bad guy!" "No one's calling you the bad guy!" "I'M ALWAYS THE BAD GUY!"

Unlike last night (where another episode had taken place) dad is calmer then mom is right now. Once the fight is over. Dad's still breathing heavy, mom's on her computer on her bed, typing 'with meaning' I suppose. I did most of my homework the best I could without accidentally writing "bad guy" as an answer for problem 34 B.

On the up side I wrote possibly the best journal entry in my life. Of course, that's always the only up every time something bad happens. You know me, every bad thing equals a best seller memoir.

“Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.”

Oscar Wilde