Like... Yeah.

There are a thousand million things I want to tell him. Like, "how about you start the conversation first this time..." and "I never get sick of talking to you."

When we talk I think, "oh god, how's my hair? You're sitting on my bad side... I'm pretty sure I'm doing something weird with my mouth. How do I get closer to you without you noticing? Shoot, I should say something funny. Oh god you're so much funnier than I am. Good, you're laughing at something I said! What did I say? Oh shoot did I say too much of my real feelings? He doesn't seem to agree... Say something to me again! Look away, you look needy. Ok I'm going to put in my earphones but not really listen to music in case he says something..."

But when we text and all you reply is "ya" what do I say? Sometimes i just don't reply, but i really want to. I'm always afraid I'm talking too much, but would we be talking at all if I wasn't asking all the questions? Ugh!

Stop being so simple! It makes me so confused! I need an excuse for why you aren't talking to me. Like "oh he's doing homework." or "he's really tired." but you never give me one! I want to know so much more about you but I don't even know of you like me like I like you.

Oh god. He just texted me. Pretend this never happened...

Somedays.

I couldn't agree more with Regina Spector. "Somedays aren't yours at all. That come and go as if they're someone else's days...."

Except I didn't ask for THEIR days I wanted MINE. Their days suck and ruin everything!

*deep breath*

Today sucked. Yesterday sucked. Tomorrow will probably suck. My life is a reject vacuum (They forgot to give it an OFF button.)

Uuugh.