Questions (a poem)

All I want
Is an answer
A call back
To many many years
All I want
Is some closer
So I can finally tell the truth
I want to be able
To trust my words
Without any setbacks
Any talking back
Please tell me the truth
So I can live without any more
Reasons to not answer
I want an answer
To my questions
Tell me the truth
It'll only hurt me more without knowing
Wishing for something you never heard of
Wanting the truth more then my own safety
Tell me the an answer
What's going on?
Is it all so complicated?
If I knew the truth
I'd know how to deal with my questions
Stupid questions

AAAAARRRGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On top of this whole Stephen thing I also have a SUCKY FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haha, if you only had read "AAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!" and "SUCKY FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" You might want to go back and read the sentence in between...

UGH OK so MORGAN is obviously the "sucky friend" I'm referring to. I read the book TTYL and TTFN and let bee, Rachel, and Morgan borrow it to read it too. Now guess what? They're absolutely obsessed with it. Now, 'Maddy' is Bee, 'Zoey' is Morgan, and 'Angela' is Rachel. Um... do you see me in there? No, you don't, because there's only three of them. Even though I suggested it to them, I'M NOT IN THEIR LITTLE GROUP. You know, when I was reading the books, Morgan wasn't even in it.

Oh wait, correction. I am in the group. Guess who I am thanks to Morgan? PELT WOMAN. Just read the books, it's too hard to explain... and kinda gross.

ALSO my friends and I are exchanging gifts this x-mas. Of course, I'm going to get each of them a nice present. Guess what everyone else is doing? They're teaming up and getting me a gift. "Oh my god, don't tell me it's underwear." I said to Morgan.

Rachel and Morgan exchanged looks, "Um.. well, kinda."

Today, "Rachel, seriously, did you guys plan on getting me underwear?"

"Um, maybe, yes, no, OK, kinda?"

"Rachel.."

"Yeah..."

"Ugh."

Yay, well I sure can't wait for Christmas.

Alright, I know it's been awhile.

My whole family's been really busy thinking lately. Do you remember my 'Uncle' Stephen who I went to see when our family went RVing to Colorado? Well, it turns out I can no longer trust my eyes.

Stephen, the happiest, nicest, smartest, altogether WONDERFUL PERSON, comited suicide two weeks ago now. No one knows what the heck happened in his head that would make him think to do this, but apparently he'd planned it from a year ago. No one saw it coming.

There are some clues that show that he might have some negative thoughts; he had lost his job, he didn't have a boyfriend. Yeah, two. But there were probably more that he didn't let anyone else know. My mom said he didn't like to share a lot about himself, so that shows a lot.

I just can't believe it. He was so nice! I loved him so much. I wanted to live with him when i went to collage, I wanted to visit him with my mom sometime, he was in my future.

My mom's talking about it now. It's just so confusing. I can't really express it right, it's so... complicatingly simple. It's so simple, no one can figure it out. Did he just not want to live? His sister called my mom and said she saw him and he had a very peaceful look on his face.

Just... why did it have to be him? The greatest person in the world had to die. And, willingly.

Ugh, but my life can't stop for him.