Sometimes I feel like I'm going nowhere. Like I'm stuck being the littlest forever and that no matter what I do my sisters are always going to do better. I feel like I always get the shorthand of the stick. Of course my sisters think it's the other way around. That I get my way because I'm the littlest. But that's just it, it's because I'm the littlest. Not because I've accomplished something better then what they did, not because I deserve it or just want it. It's because I'm the littlest and nothing more.

Whenever mom asks me what's wrong I want to tell her everything. All the things I know she wouldn't understand and never will. The things I know she doesn't want to hear and the things even I don't want to admit. But I can't. All I can do is kick the chair and cry. Because is it really worth telling someone something if you know they won't understand? Is it worth wasting my energy on crying and having a fit if I know all it's going to do is prove that I really am the youngest. I'm still the baby of the family, no matter how hard I try not to be. There's no escaping, no hiding, no way of covering it up. It's just a fact.

Maybe that's my problem, maybe I have trouble dealing with the facts. But what if I didn't? Would I be depressed beyond belief? Truth is, I'm too afraid to try.