i wish my parents thought of my sisters as individuals.

if one of us isn't home, we wait as long as possible to eat dinner. and when i say i'm hungry, they totally ignore me or say "you can wait for your sister to get home".

my sisters don't get it either.

if i get mad at them for not telling me they weren't riding the bus, or not telling me they aren't picking me up, or coming home late, or not telling me we have to leave early in the morning, not telling me we have a speech meeting, or not telling me to call mom, they think i'm "controlling them." that i'm "not their mom" (like i've never heard that one before)

they don't notice that when they eat, i eat. when they have to get up early, I have to get up early. if it's 7:00 am and we have to leave at 7:15 and they don't tell me until 7:10, and i get MAD, my parents always take their side (for example).

because they're older, my parents think they are always right. if i say "i don't think she should do that." for the sake of THEM, my parents give me the talk about how "it's not my choice what they do. you don't have to be worried about that. let us handle it."

so i basically don't have any rights.

today i rode the bus home, and expected my sister to be riding with me, like my mom told us to. but at the bus stop she wasn't there. i was always told that if they were supposed to ride the bus and weren't there when the bus was going to leave, to tell the bus driver to wait. so i asked my bus driver to wait just a few minutes for my sister to come. my bus driver waited 5 minutes. then left. so i'm obviously freaking out. i'm thinking what the crap? mom's going to be sooo mad at her, and ME. where is she? why didn't she text me she where she was? if mom has to drive here to pick her up she's going to ALSO talk to ME about missing the bus. so i text madie "the bus is leaving. i'm guessing you don't care?" and she says "no. meels is driving me home." so i got a little mad OBVIOUSLY. is it so hard to text me? save me the time of freaking out? she has a phone. why doesn't she use it?

so i said "ok. you know, you could have told me b4 i got on the bus without you. there's just a little thing called NOT LETTING YOUR SISTER FREAK OUT? it's new." and she didn't text back. ten minutes later she texted...

"we may b a little late.  she's a little slow." i was home by now and still mad. i texted back...

"you seriously need to get your act together. i'm not just saying that."

five minutes later...

"wow emma. i called dad. please stay out of it."

i texted back
"i'm just saying. you know, it also effects my sleeping patterns, eating times, etc?"

when she came home she yelled at ME. like it was my fault? "OH and emma, thanks for being so nice over the phone. Mom and dad knew, you didn't have to freak out on me. YOU DON'T CONTROL ME. I can handle things myself!" then i told her what i was feeling and all she could say was "just stay out of it."

because she can't deny it. she KNOWS it. she's even admitted it before. i love her (obviously.) and we're really close, but it's times like these that i feel like "what does she ever do for me?"

but that's another story.
---------

p.s. M.D., if you read this, this is in the PAAAAAAST. don't hate me. but that's just how i feel right now. you know you feel this way too. (about me)