I like to interview myself.

Let's call my interviewer Lucy and I'll be... Me. God I'm creative!

Lucy: How many followers do you have?

Me: ZZZZZero.

Lucy: Do you follow people?

Me: Yes.

Lucy: But you don't have any followers...?

Me: No...

Lucy: I see. Interesting.

Me: You're interesting.

Lucy: Excuse me?

Me: Nothing...

Lucy: I see. 

Me: Me too...

Lucy: Yes. Well... So you follow other people?

Me: YES! Yes i do!!!

Lucy: And do you take pills for your anger problem?

Me: NO I DO NOT TAKE PILLS FOR MY ANGER PROBLEM!!! I mean. No. I do not have an anger problem. :D

Lucy: Mhm... *scribbles on paper*

Me: What are you writing?

Lucy: "In denial about anger issue." Why?

Me: No reason...

Lucy: So are you in a relationship?

Me: Yes

Lucy: REALLY?

Me: YEAH.

Lucy: With whom? (because she's the kind of person who actually says 'whom')

Me: Your mum.

Lucy: I see... *scribbles*

Me: What now?

Lucy: What?

Me: What are you--

Lucy: ANYway, when's your birthday?

Me: September 38.

Lucy: Excuse me?

Me: September 42.

Lucy: I'm sorry but--

Me: NOVEMBER 98

Lucy: Really, Emma there's no reason to--

Me: STRANGER DANGER!!! STRANGER DANGER!!!

And then someone calls my name.